If He Called, Would You Listen?

I’m trying to understand today why sometimes it is hard for myself to make certain decisions in my life that I know are right (even ones I think I’m being called to), yet I choose to make no decision at all.  Nothing positive ever comes out of my non-action. I just sit around wondering what could have been and how terrible off I am by not making the decision I chose not to make in the first place. By not making the decision I remain in some strange pseudo-state of comfortableness because I’m not having to deal with the positive or negative impacts of the future decision. 

It’s quite a common problem for me. I freak out about the unknown sometimes and would rather mope around than make a change. Why I continue in such a cycle is beyond me as it’s such a frustrating way to live. I’m making some strives in these areas though as I realize that if I really want my life to mean anything more than ordinary, I need to stop this ridiculous habit. Lindsey likes to remind me, “If you aren’t going to do anything about it, you’re not allowed to talk about it”.

I hate not talking about it. That’s worse than not making the decision. So usually I give in eventually, but usually at a loss of some sort of opportunity big or small. What is this feeling? Is it my laziness? Is it actually sin? Maybe it’s my own selfishness of enjoying the self-pity I try to draw from my own wife.

Mostly it’s fear of change. I pray tonight that God helps me get over this problem because I need to start making some big decisions at some point – the kind you just can’t run away from. They’ll catch up with you eventually.

Do you suffer from the same problem as I do?  Post here and let me know.