There must be more to life than sitting wondering if there is more to life.

Just so you know, I grab most of my journal subjects from quotes that I come across on the internet through a quick search of Google. As such, this particular quote above seems to fit the theme of this week. Though I’m doing fine today and at the moment, I had a really hard night on Tuesday. I got turned down rather quickly by Enterprise. Not that I’m extremely saddened, as I don’t think deep down I really wanted to work for them, it’s just I was willing to give it a chance and I really thought this was going to work out for me finally. I’ve been praying for the job search a lot lately and one particular thing that has been prayed up until this point was that if Enterprise wasn’t the job, that God would close that door for me so I wouldn’t waste any more time and continue with my job search. So the prayer was answered, but it’s just been incredibly difficult to handle not only for me, but for Lindsey as well to an extent. I’m so ready to work and get out of where I’m at and yet I’ve been frozen in one place for so long. So I spent a lot of time praying about it last night trying to find answers. It’s just I can’t help but at this point to be a little impatient now, since it’s been so long now with no luck. However, I am trying so hard to trust God after all this that he does have a plan. And I know he does, but after so much time it’s hard to believe it. God might have answered my prayer today, but we’ll have to see. Today I happened to be off after all of this mess, and there just happened to be a new career fair up in Columbus that I attended. Before that however, for whatever reason my mother contacted Easter Seals and talked to a lady there. For those who don’t know Easter Seals is an organization that helps kids with disabilities. I myself attended Easter Seals and “graduated” as a child at one point due to my cerebral palsy that I have. Anyway, my mom talked to one of the people there yesterday for whatever reason. My mom just does stuff like that, I don’t think I’ll ever quite understand why. Anyway, she talked to a lady who just happened to have a husband who works for the county who is looking for someone very soon to fill an entry level clerk position because someone is about to get the ax. I’m not exactly sure what the conversation came to, but this lady wanted to meet me, so before the career fair, I stopped by Easter Seals with my mother and visited her and passed on my resume. She really believes she could almost get me the job. However, I’m not one to give up hope anymore. The opportunity is what it is, and if God wants me to have it, it will come through. Of greater note however was just the visit itself. Walking into that building brought back a whole slew of childhood memories. It was so weird to walk back there and recognize everything after all of these years. From the classrooms, to the very pool I learned how to swim in. There was a man there at the front desk named Randy who apparently remembered who I was and remembered my mother who was honestly brought to tears after he saw me there all grown up. I don’t remember Randy myself really, but it was still such an incredible feeling that came today out of this visit. On top of that, Randy proclaimed that I should even try to work there so my resume will also be passed on to someone there.

This isn’t me getting my hopes up though. I have no clue what God wants anymore, and I’m starting to realize that he is in complete control of my life. A year from now I will look back on this entry and see if something came out of today, or if something didn’t. If it does great, if not I’m sure something would have happened that was still worth it. So anyway, I just want to thank God for this day. If it wasn’t the stepping stone to getting a job, it was still one of the more touching days of my life.

Good Night.