I will move ahead, bold and confident.

As Fall has come, and the summer has passed there has been a lot of interesting changes in our daily Christian walk. Lindsey and I have been very busy with our jobs lately and for awhile it felt like we were getting nothing done for our adoption. The first important steps have been completed for awhile, but there has definitely been some tasks that we have been yielding to make, simply because we have been overwhelmed by some decision making. In order to make this adoption work, we knew upfront that big changes in our life needed to take place. Some of the decisions we had been battling included how our careers would be affected, how we would pay for this adoption, how we would handle the transition next summer with childcare or no childcare, and more. We kept raising question after question, all at the same time leading us to doubt or worry of things that were out of our control. Quite frankly, we were getting out of control and we both were looking in the wrong direction for our answers.

Four weeks ago I remember going for a walk alone on a Sunday evening. I was just a little overwhelmed with all of the decisions that I had to make. I wasn’t happy with certain things going on in my life and I was angry. So after a twenty minute walk around our complex I came back and pulled out my bible and a new workbook we bought as a study guide for our Wednesday night Fellowship group. It had been decided a few weeks prior that after we finished The Truth Project, we would try something else different and use a study guide to aide our discussions each week, along with our Bible reading.

The workbook is called Experiencing God – Knowing and Doing the Will of God. I have never used any sort of workbook, guide, or Bible supplement as I have always had mixed feelings about them. However, I decided that I needed to give this one a chance. I realized that I am unable to hold myself up on my own even without a child. If I am to adopt a child, I need to strengthen my relationship with God. As I started reading the book for the first time, I read things that even at that moment made little sense to me. This wasn’t just a book about the Bible. It was a book that was teaching me how to have a love relationship with God and specifically how it is to be done and very candidly pointing out to me what I’ve been doing wrong.

I’ve realized just four weeks into the series that I do have it all wrong. I have brought so much stress into my life trying to live my life for myself and making all of these decisions on my own. Experiencing God helps you realize that your life is not your own, and all we are to do is be obedient to God and do His Will. It stops you from asking ‘What is God’s will for my life?”, to ask rather “What is God’s Will?”

Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that thanks to this study it has helped realign my priorities in life. I can’t get through this life without doing God’s will. Nothing else matters and the only way to do this is to have a loving relationship with Him. It is through only God’s strength that I will get through the trials in life and be able to adopt and care for a child next summer. If interested in this workbook, it focuses on these seven steps on how to experience God for yourself:

  1. God is always at work around you.
  2. God pursues a continuing love relationship with you that is real and personal.
  3. God invites you to become involved with Him in His work.
  4. God speaks by the Holy Spirit through the Bible, prayer, circumstances, and the church to reveal Himself, His purposes, and His ways.
  5. God’s invitation for you to work with Him always leads you to a crisis of belief that requires faith and action.
  6. You must make major adjustments in your life to join God in what He is doing.
  7. You come to know God by experience as you obey Him, and He accomplishes His work through you.

If you’re not a Christian these steps might not make much sense, so if you have any questions I’ll be happy to answer them to the best of my ability. Thanks to the change in pace with this study, I’m happy to say that Lindsey and I are back on track with the adoption. We have some issues we are worried about, but we have to have full faith that God will work all the issues out. This week we will be turning the application in to our home study provider and get the process started with the social worker. We’re also busy getting some materials together to turn in our I-600A form (with a big fee, of coarse) to the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. I think we’re still on track for next summer. Once we get this paperwork turned in and start the home study we will be opening up a whole new bag of adoption fun. Can’t wait.


4 responses to “I will move ahead, bold and confident.”

  1. The Hesterwoman Avatar
    The Hesterwoman

    I love the deep thoughts of Scott Howell. I don’t just love them. I value them.

  2. Your Mom Avatar
    Your Mom

    Scott, God has given you this wonderful and amazing gift of “Writing” you really need to write about your adoption, your walk with God and how he is helping you. Please…….think about what I am going to say here, You really need to share this gift, take what you have already started, with all these entries you have written. WRITE A BOOK….Share it with the world in print…..share with other couples your walk with GOD and how he is holding your hand through this adoption process. ……I really feel this is a path that needs to be traveled, with God in front, he will lead the way. ………I love you, Mom

    1. Scott Avatar

      I don’t know if it’s book worthy, but it’s here for all to read, whether it makes them uncomfortable or not. My hope is that it does make people uncomfortable. If’s it’s not doing that, it’s all in vain. Just trying to get people thinking about stuff.

      “Your Son”. 🙂

  3. Alyssa Avatar

    you remind me of PapPap.